I JUST STARTED A NEW RELATIONSHIP WHERE I MANIPULATE, I MEAN SEE A PSYCHOLOGIST, AND ON THE PATIENT INTAKE FORM WHEN IT ASKED FOR MY REASON FOR COMING IN, I SAID "MY BREAKING POINT WAS WHEN I THREW MY LAPTOP ACROSS MY LIVING ROOM AFTER I GOT SIX WEST ELM COUPONS IN A ROW- EACH ESCALATING IN URGENCY AND DISCOUNT." #JIHANISTHEWORST | Photo by @contextofcontent
I LIVE WITH AN ODD GUILT- I DON'T READ CARDS THAT PEOPLE GIVE ME. BECAUSE. BECAUSE WHO KNOWS. BUT I HAVE A PLACE I HIDE UNOPENED BIRTHDAY AND CORRESPONDENCE CARDS IN THE RAFTERS AT MY STUDIO, REACHABLE BY LADDER. SOMEDAY WHEN I'M STRONGER, I'LL OPEN THEM. MAYBE. #JIHANISTHEWORST | photo by @contextofcontent .... also am I seeing you tomorrow at the @bossladiesmag fireside chat at @parachutehome in Venice? Tickets through @bossladiesmag. I'm changing my underwear for the occasion so I'd love you to come. πŸ‘‹πŸ½πŸ˜¬πŸ‘‹πŸ»
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AS YOU ARE READING THIS, I'M GUESSING YOUR BANK ACCOUNT BALANCE BC I'VE ALREADY DETERMINED WHAT U LOOK LIKE NAKED. πŸ˜¬πŸ˜œπŸ€‘πŸ˜‚πŸ‘€πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ#JIHANISTHEWORST #JIHANTHOUGHTS | photo (and πŸ‘Ÿ cameo) by @contextofcontent.
WHY WE DON'T BLUSH EVERY TIME WE ANNOUNCE OUR GOING TO THE RESTROOM IS STILL OUR MOST ASTOUNDING ACT OF COMPARTMENTALIZING AS HUMANS. THAT, AND QUIETLY SITTING THRU A SYRIAN GENOCIDE IN 2017. #JIHANTHOUGHTS | photo by @contextofcontent
SOCIAL MEDIA HAS US CONVINCED THAT BEING IN TOUCH WITH FRIENDS FOR LIFE IS NORMAL BUT I LONG FOR THE DAYS OF LOSING TOUCH WITH PEOPLE AND NEVER HEARING FROM THEM AGAIN AND CONSIDERING THEM DEAD UNTIL YOU ROLL UP ON THE MARSHALL'S DRESS FOR LESS TO GRAB A HARD SUITCASE AND YOU LOOK TO THE CAR ON YOUR LEFT AND LO AND BEHOLD LOOK WHO HAS RISEN FROM THE DEAD AND IS DRIVING A HYUNDAI SONATA WITH TINTED WINDOWS! #JIHANISTHEWORST | photo by @contextofcontent x @cinespia
I JUST DONT THINK PEOPLE REMEMBER HOW MUCH BARNES AND NOBLE AND EDDIE BAUER and THE BODY SHOP PLAYED IN OUR MASS MALL CONSUMER LIVES 15 YEARS AGO AND SOMETIMES I GIVE A LITTLE ATTITUDE TO AMAZON PRIME FOR BEING SO SMUG CUZ I'M LIKE "UR PROB NEXT, BIG BOY". πŸ‘… | photo by @keara.maryn
EVERY SO OFTEN A QUESTIONNAIRE COMES ROUND ASKING WHAT I'M MOST PROUD OF AND MY KNEE-JERK RESPONSE IS ALWAYS : "MY SKILL OF BEING ABLE TO FLOSS MY TEETH WITH ANYTHING". #JIHANISTHEWORST. | photos by @scottyvance from the @platform_la environment we designed for our sweethearts @springstreetsocialsociety: @amyvirginia + @aguynamedpatrick ❀️
WHEN I EAT PISTACHIO ICE CREAM, I THINK ABOUT HOW SIMILAR IT IS TO HUMAN DYNAMICS. OFTEN, I AM LABORED WITH THE EMOTIONAL OR MENTAL DIGGING REQUIRED TO GET SOMEWHERE WITH SOMEONE, AND JUST BEFORE I DECIDE TO GIVE UP, I STUMBLE UPON A LITTLE NUT AND THEN I’M LIKE, β€œWELL, I GUESS I BETTER KEEP GOING”. AND THEN I'VE COMPLETED AN ENTIRE PINT OF ICE-CREAM AND MY RELATIONSHIP IS ONLY AS SECURE AS THE NEXT TIME I GO LOOKING FOR A REASON TO STAY FRIENDS. AGAIN. #JIHANTHOUGHTS πŸ™ƒπŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈπŸ€”πŸ––πŸ½ | photo by @jessicakobeissi from our @hsfreeclinic sculpture πŸ†πŸ˜πŸ€™πŸΌ
MY GREAT-AUNT DARILEE: ORPHANED AT CHILDHOOD, WITH PINK MOHAWK AND MULLET; DROVE HER TRICYCLE TO STURGIS; HAD THE LARGEST COLLECTION OF YEARBOOKS IN THE WORLD AND HELPED THE FBI SOLVE COLD CASES IN ADDITION TO HELPING PEOPLE RESTORE THEIR IDENTITIES; WAS KICKED OUT OF HER UNIVERSITY FOR GO-GO DANCING; CREATED THE MEMORIAL "FACES FROM THE WALL" DEVOTED TO BOYS WHO DIED SERVING IN VIETNAM; HOSTED WEDDINGS WITH MONSTER TRUCK GET AWAY CARS AND PINATAS AND CHILDRENS CHORUS; SPREAD HILARIOUS AND EXAGGERATED FAMILY ANCESTRY LORE; OWNER OF 3rd STREET BOOK EXCHANGE IN MARYSVILLE WASHINGTON FOR 30 YEARS- OFTEN GIVING BOOKS AWAY FOR FREE JUST BECAUSE SHE WANTED PEOPLE TO READ; IS THE MOST INTRIGUING PERSON I WILL EVER MEET. I'M SURE HALF OF EVERYTHING I JUST WROTE IS NOT COMPLETELY TRUE, AS TIME HAS COLORED MY MEMORY, BUT IT'S AS I LIKE TO REMEMBER HER: LARGER THAN LIFE. SHE PASSED AWAY LAST WEEK FROM CANCER, AND I WHEN SOMEONE DIES, IT MAKES YOU REFLECT ON YOUR OWN LIFE. IF THE MORAL OF HER LIFE'S STORY IS ANYTHING, IT'S "DON'T WASTE TIME NOT DOING THE THING YOU BELIEVE IN" AND IS A FITTING REMINDER FOR ME ON THIS IMPORTANT DAY. // HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY TO THE WORLD AND THANK YOU AUNTIE DARILEE FOR BELIEVING IN SO MUCH AND NOT WASTING A SECOND FIGHTING FOR IT. | photo by @ohhappyday of our SF Mission takeover.
IN THE LAST THREE DAYS, MY DEBIT CARD HAS BEEN DECLINED TWICE. NEVER MIND THE REASON OR MY FORTUNATE ABILITY TO FIX IT WITHIN SECONDS. NOTHING BRINGS ME TO HUMILITY QUITE THE SAME, WHICH IS PROBABLY BECAUSE I NEED TO BE HUMBLED AS I'VE BEEN A PRETTY HAUGHTY BEAST LATELY. πŸ‘ΉπŸ˜ˆπŸ€–#JIHANISTHEWORST | photo by @scottyvance of a ceiling I designed for @springstreetsocialsociety @platform_la πŸ•ΈοΈπŸŒˆ
IN 2011 I WAS DRIVING IN BUMPER TO BUMPER TRAFFIC ON HWY 101 IN 103 DEGREES AND A WOMAN IN A SUN FADED MAROON ASTRO VAN, WINDOWS DOWN, WAS SUCKING ON A YELLOW STRAWED CAPRISUN IN THE LANE NEXT TO ME. SHE SMILED AND THEN REACHED DOWN AND MOTIONED TO ME WITH THE UNIVERSAL β€œLOOK ALIVE!” FACE AND TOSSED ME A CAPRISUN THROUGH THE SUNROOF OF MY VW BEETLE. THE END. #I❀️L.A. #JIHANTHOUGHTS | photo by fellow "z", @heatherzweig πŸ’‹of our surprise installation at the @hsfreeclinic which provides free healthcare and support to anyone who walks through the doors, no questions asked. Because every human deserves care. And even non-human. Martians welcome too. πŸ‘½
MANY OF U KNOW THAT #IFELLINLOVEWITHMYINTERNETTROLL, PAT, OVER THIS PAST YEAR. (HE TROLLED ME πŸ•΅πŸΌHARD FOR MY MATERIAL AND WASTE PRACTICES AND WAS NOT COMPLETELY WRONG: I did need to improve my habits and confront certain aspects of being an artist that I prefer hiding from...However he was incorrect about a lot of other things too, as Trolls tend to be. πŸ™„πŸ˜œπŸ˜‚) AND I AM HUMBLED + SHOCKED + PROUD TO SAY THAT PAT REACHED OUT TO ME, WE'VE SPOKEN AND HAVE CALLED OFF OUR FIGHT AND HAVE DECIDED TO GET MARRIED. πŸ’‘JUST KIDDING. NO, BUT WE ARE BECOMING FRIENDS AND WE ARE TALKING. TWO THINGS I THOUGHT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN. . #ilovepat #patthetroll #ifellinlovewithmyinternettroll | we surprised the @hsfreeclinic with an installation this morning since we want to draw attention and support the good they are doing to care for any and every human that walks in for FREE physical, emotional and mental health care. They operate off donations, and have been serving 30k + people a year, for 48 years! | photo by @scottyvance
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW -- THERE'S A WAR IN LA SOO QUIETLY WHISPERED, THAT IS FOUGHT OR WON BASED ON THE DEEPEST CHARACTER IMPLICATIONS OF MOVING TO EITHER "WEST SIDE" or "EAST SIDE" AND AS NEW FRIENDS RELOCATE HERE I HOLD MY BREATH TO SEE WHAT FATE BEHOLDS AS THEY DETERMINE THEIR "SIDE" WHICH IS MORE TELLING THAN READING THEIR DIARY, SEEING A BLOOD SAMPLE, OR REVIEWING THE RESULTS OF A MEYERS-BRIGGS TEST. #JIHANTHOUGHTS | photo of balloon detritus at #geronimostudio by @sfgirlbybay
SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO STAY HOME FOR A MARATHON OF THAT COMEDY DRAMA SHOW ABOUT 65 YEAR OLDS WHO AREN'T SURE IF THEY HAVE A COLD OR NOT BUT WILL GET THE RESULTS NEXT WEEK, WHO HAD A NICE TIME VISITING THE COUSINS IN MAINE. I THINK THE SHOW IS CALLED "FACEBOOK"? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜œ#JIHANTHOUGHTS | The 1st & 2nd grade classes of Elysian Heights Elementary made this "EVERY FLAVOR AND SOCIO ECONOMIC AND COLOR OF THE RAINBOW IS LOVED AND ACCEPTED AND WORTHY AND DELICIOUS!" balloon ice cream cone!
I CHECKED, AND THE SAME PERSON WHO "DOES NOT LIKE GRATUITY TO BE INCLUDED IN THE CHECK", CAN BE CROSS-REFERENCED WITH "DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE JOY OF DRIVING WITH WINDOWS DOWN WITH AC ON A HOT DAY" AND "WILL NOT WISH ANYONE A HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY BECAUSE IT'S A CONSUMER CONSPIRACY HOLIDAY". πŸ€“πŸ˜œπŸ€‘ #JIHANTHOUGHTS | #process #bts photo by @scottyvance from our @springstreetsocialsociety design at @platform_la
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