@hashnags directing lead actresses @mitziruhlmann and @bridiemckim on a beautiful short film she wrote. There's something freaking awesome about watching your best friends conquering their dreams. I spent the weekend in Sydney shooting stills for her film. It's the first time I've been on a proper film set. So much gear, so many talented humans, so many TAKES. Shooting was challenging, the lack of time and control made me work in completely new ways. But being a part of an crew again was the best feeling ever. I've been saying no to a lot of photography gigs, in a big part because it means being away from Alba. I've focused all my energy on writing because I can do it from home. But this trip made me really miss working with other people. One day I'll dive right back into the madness again. ⚡️
Post on magic + a spell {link in profile}. "The more I experienced the world the more I saw that magic was real. Magic was the patterns in an insect’s fragile wings, the taste of summer mangoes, the feeling of new love. Magic was a world full of wonderful creatures, many of them even more exotic than mythical creatures. Magic was liquid that turned your hair purple, pills that made you sleep, devices that let you freeze single moments in time, birdlike machines that could take you up into the clouds and down into different worlds. Magic was here, we just understood it so well that it lost its mystery. That was my conclusion. Magic was subjective, like love."
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Instafamily! I'm looking for someone to share a home with near the beach in the Sunshine Coast from April. It's just Alba & I. I'm forever cooking yummy things, we can go to the beach all the time and if you're a creative we can spend days just kicking butt on our projects/dreams in our cute beach shack. Must: Put up with my dorkiness, like kids and help me eat chocolate so I don't eat it all myself. Send me a message by facebook or email if you want to be housemates! 👯✨🌊🍦nirrimi@gmail.com
in some ways it’s a strange thing to still be living beside this boy. i’m not quite sure what to call him; ex boyfriend comes with negative connotations, housemate sounds ridiculous and lover is too confusing to others. i’ve settled on best friend. he’s the human i come to when i’m hurt or scared or anxious. the one who already knows even the tiniest pieces of me, so he can easily lay them back in place when i fall apart. he’s the boy whose dreams i hear in the mornings, whose songs get stuck in my head, who drinks all the rice milk and whispers in my ear that we should definitely watch another episode of atlanta. the hardest part is telling people. it’s so awkward when we’re all together as a family and questions come up that i can’t avoid and i have to say, ‘well, funny story really…’ how funny this need of humans to create labels to understand the world, sometimes it works and sometimes these labels box us in and make us even more misunderstood. recently i tried to explain it to someone who was quick to judge and i felt so much like a failure that i left to cry (i'm a bit sensitive. 😅) but i’m not a failure. it feels like this is where his path veers off a little from ours and i am grateful that our paths ever joined. in any case, this isn't where our story ends. friends ask if it hurts. well, sometimes it’s like ripping off a bandaid really slowly. so slowly that mostly i don’t notice any pain at all. but there’s sharp moments. moments of, ‘oh but if only we’d done this,’ and ‘but couldn’t we just?’ hopes and dreams and bright sparkling love remembered with an ache. but mostly i’m happy to still have his cuddles and dorky dance moves around. i suppose it’s just another strange circumstance i’m finding myself in, like there’s some eccentric playwright out there penning all the twists and turns in my life. good thing too, my writing might be a lot more boring otherwise. you just gotta trust in this life and know that whatever happens, it’s all working out (even when it doesn’t feel like it, ESPECIALLY when it doesn’t feel like it.) forget all the 'rules' and follow your heart. that's what i do anyway. 💖✨
my big little girl. squinting in the sunshine on the first day of school. while i dreamt ideally of alternative schooling when she was a baby (and have lost none of that passion) when i picked her up from school and saw her grinning with her new friends, i felt a hell of a lot of gratitude. even though life is constantly changing (and not going quite to plan) we live in a peaceful place, we got into an incredible school, i can now provide as a single mama and we are a part of a really beautiful community. i didn't have an easy childhood and while i'm grateful for the challenges i overcame, being able to give alba many of the things i didn't have makes me deeply happy. it also really puts things into perspective. here's to a new chapter that i feel really good about. for alba and i both. ✌🏼👩👧💖 (uniform is digitally altered. 🔧)
A new post about quite possibly the hardest year of my existence, full of silver linings. Link in my profile. 💔❤️ 'My anxiety was consuming. How wide time stretches when you’re waiting to feel okay again. Waiting for a morning where you wake up and the weight doesn’t land upon your chest the moment you remember. Waiting for a time when you can think about the past without recoiling. The hardest part was the beginning. My mind kept catching on all the beautiful things. I don’t know why I read those old love letters, it was like I was stabbing myself again and again in the place where it hurt the most. I got tired of crying. So much of the year was spent crying. The world outside our home was full of white moths. Thousands of them. They swooped in and out of the trees everywhere I looked. I love moths, I can relate to moths. They are not immediately beautiful, they lack the splendid colours of butterflies but up close they are even more beautiful to me. My father used to tell me a dreamtime story about a moth who sacrificed all of her colours to a bleak snowy mountain so that wildflowers could grow.'
We bought a giant box of apples for $3 and made apple chips. 🍎 Crazy scary lightning has left us with no wifi for weeks now. ⚡️⚡️⚡️ I have no idea when it'll be restored and in some ways it's been nice but it's also meant I've been sharing so much less. There's a balance there, one that I'm constantly figuring out. What are your thoughts on the living vs sharing balance? ⚖️
The sea fixes almost everything. 🌊☀️
Rainy day babychino date with these two 💪🏼 ladies. Luckily @gregariouspeach makes some excellent children for me to kidnap. She's been living with us while Bee is in Tasmania and home is the happiest chaos ever, even with all the monster lightning storms. It's good. It's just what I needed. ⚡️😅
I unearthed this old photograph while developing filters this week and I don't know how I ever missed it. I also forgot how much I love playing with colour. Since the online store closed down I fell into the habit of using all my old filters and not developing any new ones. It’s the sweetest feeling when you make a filter that works magic on nearly anything. How do you guys colour grade your work? ⚡️ (Edited with 'December'. For those who signed up to the filter or print rewards, you'll be getting this + another in your inbox on the 3rd.) 🙈💌
Today is a pretty exciting day, I’m launching my Patreon! 🎉🎉🎉 The link is on my profile. It’s a platform where you can support my projects and get things like filters, prints & mentoring from me in return. Kinda like a Kickstarter only you get rewards for every month you support. My current goal is to raise the money to work on my Plant Love guide (I’ll tell you more about that soon). So if any of this excites you or if my writing has moved you and you want to support my work - take a peek. Comment if you end up supporting, I’d love to get to know you guys better. Whether you become a backer or not, I really am grateful for the support you give me by just following along. You’re the best, ever. PS: So many of you asked for recipes, and while I would so love to include them as a reward right away, it's hard to know yet how I will go with the workload. I want to be sure I still have time for my blog, my book and my family. So if I am managing fine after a month or two I will add them in. 😌🌱🍵
My girl. You're getting so big. When you get a bright idea you get so excited that you start to shake. You've got a best friend at kindy named Zaia. When something surprises you you shout "Holy guacamole!" You're obsessed with camping, insects and drinking tea. I find drawings of unicorns and monsters stuck to the walls all around our home. On good days you're so delightful I forget that things are ever hard. But you're still so little too. You can be so fiery, sensitive and stubborn. When we were waiting to cross a city street the other day you were so mad at me you were hitting and yelling at me in front of everyone. I'm sure people thought I was a terrible parent and you were a terrible child, but we do our best. I forgive your quick temper and you forgive me for not being perfect. You're trying to figure out how to be a human and I'm trying to figure out how to best help you. We're both just working out this life thing together, and boy, it ain't easy but it sure is a lot of fun sometimes.
Alba brushing Pongo. 🐴 We spent the weekend roadtripping south, where we got to visit @harryandthefrog and see Audrey's beautiful pony, who was a gift for her 5th birthday. Audrey & Alba got along wildly. 🔥 And now Alba is asking me for a real pony for her birthday. 😳🙅🏼😁
The story about losing my little brother is finally on my blog. It has taken me months to write. Built from notes scribbled on napkins in European cafes, on my phone in the middle of unbearable nights and in my journal as I sat beside the tree where he left Earth. Sometimes it’s been like reaching inside myself to pull out words like vital organs. Sometimes it’s been like breathing after not breathing for months. I’ve been afraid I will never do this story justice. Afraid of the vulnerability I face putting it into the world and of the backlash of the people who hurt us. But Zake taught me to fight my fears, to be honest and to always strive to do good things. This post is for Zake, it's for me and it's also for you. It's a long story, so settle in somewhere cosy and read it like a chapter from a book. The link is on my profile, though it may be best read from a nice big screen. I'm so grateful for all the love and support I've received from you guys in the hardest year of my life. I hope my stories bring you something in return. 🙏🏼❤️📝
Thank you for sharing your stories with me, on my last post and always. The beautiful thing is by being vulnerable you help more than just you or I, you help others feel less alone. I keep learning again and again how many threads of circumstance, pain and joy every single person shares. No matter how crazy or weird you feel there are ALWAYS countless people feeling just the same. Your vulnerability creates empathy, and with so much discrimination happening all around us it's obvious we need to realise we're all one and the same. We need each other and you may never know how much a simple story of imperfection or struggle may heal someone else. 💖 Another portrait with my love by @kiararosephoto.💘
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